SEASON
1 1970
BEEFEATERS
The Goodies' first job involves
going to the Tower Of London to investigate who has been
stealing the Beefeater's beef, only
to find that the burglar is there "by appointment".
SNOOZE
Graeme attempts to boost sales of
a bedtime drink by making it more potent, as he cures
Bill's insomnia but sends the whole
country to sleep in the process.
GIVE POLICE A CHANCE
Asked to change the brutish image
of the police force, the Goodies become too nice as
hippy cops and are arrested to face
trial by the real boys in blue.
PLAYGIRL CLUB
The female Minister for Domestic
Affairs wants the Goodies to infiltrate the Playgirl Club to
retrieve some scandalous photos
taken of her - a job for Tim in his first drag role!
THE GREENIES
A holiday in Cornwall becomes less
than idyllic thanks to the secretive Army barracks nearby,
so the Goodies assist the local
vicar in his bid to remove the Army and set up a kids playground.
CECILY
The Goodies are asked to babysit
young Cecily (with Tim as the Nanny!), but lots of strange
happenings in a seemingly haunted
house make for a spooky time.
RADIO GOODIES
Rejection by the "ruddy GPO' for
a broadcasting licence sees The Goodies set up their own
pirate radio station and post office
outside the 5 mile limit, giving Graeme ideas for grander plans.
SEASON 2
1971-72
LOCH NESS MONSTER
A bid to trap the Loch Ness Monster
to pacify a suicidal zookeeper sees the Goodies travel to Scotland, where
they have a close brush with the deadly Bagpipes spider among other trials.
THE COMMONWEALTH GAMES
Following a boycott of the games
by other nations, the Minister Of Sport persuades the Goodies to represent
Britain against the might of the August Bank Holiday Islands team.
POLLUTION
With pollution becoming worse, the
Goodies discover that the Ministry of Pollution is actually causing the
problem rather than curing it, so they set to work on freshening things
up.
THE LOST TRIBE
The Goodies assist Hazel in tracking
down her father, a Professor who vanished twenty years ago in search of
the Lost Tribe Of The Orinoco, by following the movements listed in his
diary.
THE MUSIC LOVERS
Musicians are being kidnapped all
over the country, so the Goodies become famous musicians too, eventually
get stolen and come face to face with their arch enemy - the Music Master.
ANTIQUES
Tim's crusade to stop rich Americans
from buying all of Britain's art treasures sees him bidding a huge amount
of money for one painting, forcing the Goodies to take drastic action to
pay for it.
KITTEN KONG
The Goodies' Animal Clinic looks
after various problem animals, including Twinkle the kitten who grows to
a massive size, thanks to Graeme's growth formula, and terrorises London.
COME DANCING
Asked to be part of a formation
dancing team, the Goodies find that dancing isn't as gentle and pure as
they thought, especially when they encounter Delia Capone and her corrupt
team.
FOOD
Disgusted at the awful cuisine served
up at Ye Olde Shepherds Restaurant, the Goodies head to the farm of Tim's
uncle for some fresh country food, only to be further disappointed upon
arrival.
FREE TO LIVE
Bill's complaint to Women's Lib
about Graeme's sexism leads to a visit from Barbara, who sends Graeme and
Tim to work for her father, while she falls for Bill and Graeme falls for
his computer.
GENDER EDUCATION
The Goodies are asked to make a
sex education film for Mrs Desiree Carthorse, but are soon in trouble when
she objects to its content, sending Bill into a violent film-making frenzy.
LONDON TO BRIGHTON
The Goodies are bouncing on spacehoppers
from London to Brighton for charity, however they continue to bounce on
around the world much to the horror of their tight-fisted sponsor.
DOUBLE TROUBLE
The Goodies' bid to win the Nice
Person Of The Year Award is being sabotaged by the mysterious Doctor Petal
and his evil robot doubles of the Goodies and other famous people.
SPECIALMONTREUX 1972
KITTEN KONG (Remake)
The Goodies' Animal Clinic looks
after various problem animals, including Twinkle the kitten who grows to
a massive size, thanks to Graeme's growth formula, and terrorises London.
A COLLECTION OF GOODIES
A lack of finances sees Tim filling
out a Tax Evasion form for the Goodies, with Graeme's computer providing
timely reminders of the bizarre items which he is trying to claim for.
SEASON 3 1973
THE NEW OFFICE
With their office destroyed by a
lazy builder and his team of tradesmen, the Goodies build a deserted railway
station and head to the countryside, only to find that their peace is soon
shattered.
HUNTING PINK
The Goodies visit Tim's uncle at
his country mansion and when Uncle Butcher unexpectedly snuffs it, Tim
continues the bloodthirsty family hunting tradition to the disgust of the
others.
WINTER OLYMPICS
The withdrawal of the British Winter
Olympics team sees the Goodies pressured into competing despite lousy training
facilities, but Graeme has an idea to even up the competition.
THE OLD BLACK MAGIC
Witch Hazel's problems with casting
spells leads the Goodies to help her to contact lost souls via a séance
and Graeme's mystical powers eventually see him turned into a gibbon.
FOR THOSE IN PERIL ON THE SEA
Graeme's urge to recreate an early
Viking expedition and find the Lost Island Of Munga sees the Goodies shipwrecked
and at the mercy of an old foe from a previous show.
WAY OUTWARD BOUND
The failure to find any kids willing
to go to an adventure school forces the Goodies to attend disguised as
children, only to find that the school is being used for a far more sinister
cause.
SUPERSTAR
Appalled at the offensive songs
on the hit parade, the Goodies perform a sickly sweet song on the Maxie
Grease Show, but Bill is exploited and turned into a superstar by an unscrupulous
agent.
SEASON 4 1973-74
CAMELOT
Tim's Uncle King Arthur is away
on vacation and the Goodies have to look after it, firstly turning it into
a tourist attraction, then having to defend it from the clutches of the
local town planner.
INVASION OF THE MOON CREATURES
Graeme's attempt to send rabbits
to the moon seems to be a failure until Bill and Tim's space voyage discovers
plots of vegies and the menacing presence of Big Bunny.
HOSPITAL FOR HIRE
A bad experience with the hospital
system forces the Goodies to become doctors themselves and attempt to fix
up the health system with the help of Graeme's magic elixir.
SPECIALTHE GOODIES AND THE BEANSTALK
The Goodies are so broke that they
have sold the trandem for a can of beans, but their luck changes somewhat
when the beanstalk grows up Mt.Everest and they discover a magic castle.
THE STONE AGE
Graeme discovers an ancient tunnel
below the Goodies' office and his penchant for potholing soon finds the
Goodies stuck inside the stomach of a prehistoric tyrannosaurus rex.
GOODIES IN THE NICK
A timid policeman needs the Goodies
help in boosting his tally of arrests, but their fiendishly cunning bank
robbery sees them locked away in prison and desperate to escape.
THE RACE
A wrong turn to Skegness sees the
Goodies winning the Tour de France cycling race, so they decide to also
enter Le Mans and convert their disused railway station office into a car.
SEASON 5 1975
THE MOVIES
The Goodies buy a movie studio and
attempt to revitalise the British film industry; but ultimately descend
into chaos when they each try to shoot their own film at the same time.
THE CLOWN VIRUS
A job to dispose of a harmless can
of "tomato soup" for an American military base sees the whole British population
turned into clowns and ripe for an invasion by US troops.
CHUBBY CHUMPS
Tim has become rather flabby while
the others have been away fishing, but trims himself down thanks to a brainwashing
radio DJ and enters the Miss Housewife Of The Year Contest.
WACKY WALES
An invitation to an eisteddfod in
Wales has the Goodies in all sorts of trouble with the Reverend after they
dare to break many of the puritanical local laws and actually try to entertain
people.
FRANKENFIDO
Graeme's dog breeding venture gets
out of hand and Tim's only chance to win at Crufts is to dress Bill in
a dog costume, which forces Graeme to custom-make a shaggy monster of his
own.
SCATTY SAFARI
The Star Safari Park is in big strife
once its star attraction Tony Blackburn has been shot, but Rolf Harris
proves an even bigger hit until he escapes and infests Britain in plague
proportions.
KUNG FU KAPERS
Bill's expertise at the ancient
Lancastrian martial art of Ecky Thump proves too much for other forms of
self defence, but his march on Parliament wielding black puddings must
be stopped.
LIGHTHOUSE KEEPING LOONIES
The Goodies are doing "a little
lighthouse keeping" for five years amid Bill's phobia about round objects,
a gruesome sea shanty about the Jolly Rock and Tim's mumps and whinging.
ROME ANTICS
In 55AD the early Goodies venture
to Rome to provide entertainment for the fruit-fancying Emperor, but are
eventually confronted by Attila the Hun and the invading Barbarians.
CUNNING STUNTS
Bill is fired from the Goodies'
newspaper for being a hopeless reporter and after he is rejected by the
love of his life, he decides to end it all by entering the Eurovision Raving
Loony Contest.
SOUTH AFRICA
The Goodies are forced to emigrate
to South Africa where the absence of black people forces a new form of
segregation called apart-height, mainly affecting short people like jockeys
and Bill.
OK TEA ROOMS
Graeme's gold prospecting trip to
Cornwall is a failure until he strikes a rich vein of cream, with his greed
and Tim and Bill's discovery of strawberry jam and scones leading to a
showdown.
THE END
The Goodies are trapped inside a
350 foot block of concrete, with "turps for burps", changing religion,
cannibalism and I-spy all on the agenda while being stuck at close quarters
for so long.
SPECIALGOODIES RULE-OK?
The unwanted Goodies finally hit
the big time after years of failure, only for the government to topple
and all forms of fun to be banned, requiring a civil uprising and a puppet
government.
SEASON 6 1976
ALMIGHTY COD
An extension to the Eskimos fishing
limits soon has Britain codless, so the Goodies smuggle a cod back from
Greenland and grow it to a huge size, but still have to ward off the Eskimos.
HYPE PRESSURE
Tim's nasty tv talent show is a
flop after Bill and Graeme's folk singing is a hit with the judges, so
Tim sets about creating the rock 'n roll revival and becomes a loony tv
director.
DAYLIGHT ROBBERY ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS
Goodies Holidays is creating an
exciting mystery tour aboard the Orient Express for the Detective's Club,
but things go astray when the train is hijacked and taken to the Le Boring
Contest.
BLACK AND WHITE BEAUTY
Graeme has established a rest home
for clapped-out old animals and is sent a pantomime horse, which Tim trains
before it is callously stolen by Bill to enter in the Grand National.
IT MIGHT AS WELL BE STRING
A series of too-honest ads sees
revenue for the Goodies' advertising agency plummet, until Tim discovers
the joys of string, and Bill and Graeme set about ripping him off.
2001 AND A BIT
The futuristic sons of the Goodies
have become bored with the extremely violent forms of modern entertainment
and seek to revive something truly boring from their fathers' era - cricket.
THE GOODIES-ALMOST LIVE
A concert featuring many of The
Goodies' best known songs, including Cactus In My Y-Fronts, Funky Gibbon,
Black Pudding Bertha, Bounce, Last Chance Dance and Wild Thing.
SEASON 7 1977
ALTERNATIVE ROOTS
A historical look back at the ancestors
of the Goodies; Celtic Kilty (Graeme), County Cutie (Tim) and Kinda Kinky
(Bill) and how they were captured by the evil television slave traders.
DODONUTS
Disgusted by Tim and Graeme's love
of hunting, Bill vows to protect the last dodo from extinction, even though
it has all sorts of horrible behavioural problems for him to contend with.
SCOUTRAGEOUS
Graeme and Bill finally discover
that Tim's late night jaunts are to secretive scout meetings, so they join
the platoon and create new scouting badges and all sorts of mayhem in the
process.
PUNKY BUSINESS
The rapidly growing punk craze sees
Tim as the lone defender of shiny shoes and niceness after both Graeme
and Bill have sunk to punk, but even Tim wants to be able to go the Trendsetters
Ball.
ROYAL COMMAND
The revised Royal Variety Show hosted
by Graeme is so well received by the royal family that they enter showbiz
but end up in hospital, requiring the Goodies to act as their replacements.
EARTHANASIA
The world ends at midnight on Christmas
Eve, with Graeme devoting the rest of his life to curing Tim's belly button
hangup's and Bill revealing his real self among all sorts of chaos.
SEASON 8 1981
POLITICS
Graeme is faced with selling the
image of two potential Prime Ministers to the nation; Bill as the revolutionary
Che Monyou and Tim as the stunning Timita.
SATURDAY NIGHT GREASE
Tim wants to be king of the disco
but is thrown out and then later locked in jail for indulging in mixed
dancing; just the gimmick which Bill needs to increase the crowds at his
own new disco.
A KICK IN THE ARTS
The British Olympic team is broke
and Tim has no choice but to join them after doing his dough at Graybungles
Casino and competes against Graeme and Bill's Rest Of The World team.
U-FRIEND OR UFO
The strange alien abductions of
trombonists cause Bill to take up the 'bone in a bid to solve the mystery,
while Graeme constructs EBGB the robot to help Tim out at his Knutters
Knoll Knitespot.
ANIMALS
Tim's attempts to treat animals
with kindness are soon overshadowed by Graeme's cruelty in putting them
to work to earn their keep, while Bill campaigns for the rights of vegetables.
WAR BABIES
The Goodies are grown-up babies
who are sent off to boarding school during the war years, and are asked
by Churchill to go behind enemy lines to buy him a box of German cigars.
SEASON 9 1981-82
SNOW WHITE 2
The Goodies are kicked out of the
Seven Dwarves for being too tall and are lost and unemployed until they
attempt to enter the' castle controlled by the princesses.
ROBOT
Due to dire financial conditions,
Bill is fired and replaced with a baby robot; however Tim and Graeme need
help with raising the robot and hire a strange bearded Swedish nanny to
look after it.
FOOTBALL CRAZY
Bill the soccer hooligan is in fine
form as Tim becomes Chief of Police in a bid to stamp out such boorish
conduct, with football then becoming so boring that its fans flock to the
ballet instead.
BIGFOOT
The Goodies set off to the Canadian
Rockies in search of the mythical Arthur C Clarke, but find all sorts of
other weird creatures including the legendary Bigfoot.
CHANGE OF LIFE
The Goodies are preparing to close
their business due to old age until the threat of the robot taking over
forces them to undertake the Standard Test to see if they are still capable
of being Goodies.
HOLIDAYS
A supposedly relaxing holiday in
the seaside village of Dunsquabblin turns very stressful when the Goodies
are trapped inside for seventeen days due to heavy rain and snow.
ANIMALS
Graeme's pet shop has a special
new line - people dressed up as animals, but they also suffer from being
dumped so Tim sets up a protection society, while Graeme cruelly puts the
strays to work. |
